8 Essential Truths About Stress & Nervous System Healing for High-Achieving Women
We all know chronic stress affects our health. But what most people – especially high-achieving women – don’t realize is just how deeply the effects of chronic stress get transmitted to the body.
It shows up as:
chronic tension,
disrupted sleep,
anxiety in disguise,
and even mystery pain that doesn’t show up on any scan.
And too often, we ignore it until it becomes unmanageable and all the alarm systems in the body are screaming “pay attention!”
But what’s more common is that high-functioning women often just push through – distract, numb, and accept bloating, clenched jaws, and left hip pain as normal. They don’t let these symptoms get in the way of work, but the effects slowly and consistently build and the quiet symptoms slowly but surely chip away at their well-being over decades.
As a board-certified physician and specialist in the mind-body connection, I’ve spent years treating women who appear successful on the outside but silently suffer from overdrive, emotional disconnection, and nervous system dysregulation.
Trained as a Physiatrist, or Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation physician, I adopted our specialty motto early – “Physicians Adding Quality to Life.” They’ve tried weekly therapy, doing yoga, spending money on massages, and upgrading their diets with green juice. But what they really need is to rewire their brains to support a body-led stress relief program – so their healing can actually stick.
This isn’t about you needing to completely uproot your entire existence to leave for a fairytale life. No wonder why Netflix has become the topic of conversation at nearly every single girls night out dinner I’ve had over the last several years!
Here are 8 somatic, science-backed truths I wish everyone knew about stress and nervous system health - especially ambitious women who are exhausted from holding it all together:
1. Food is nervous system medicine – if you eat in the right order…
You think you’re fine, dealing with bloating and discomfort, and then suddenly you find yourself with pre-diabetes or hormonal fluctuations that have you feeling out of sorts.
What you eat matters. But how and when you eat matters just as much. Blood sugar crashes can activate the stress response, amplifying anxiety, tension, and irritability.
A simple tip?
Eat your meals in this order: fiber-rich veggies → protein → fat → carbs.
This sequence helps regulate post-meal blood sugar spikes and supports your body's ability to stay calm. And if you can, take a short walk or do some squats afterward - no fancy gym membership is required. It’s a small ritual that acts as somatic nourishment.
2. Overusing anti-Inflammatories is a red flag
Popping ibuprofen to power through a spin class or a demanding workday is a common habit – but it can come at a cost. While it may offer short-term relief, chronic use dulls the vital communication between your body and brain and can damage your liver and kidneys over time.
Essentially, it silences your body’s signals instead of helping you respond to them.
A smarter, more sustainable approach?
Start with reducing internal inflammation at the root. I’m a fierce advocate for an anti-inflammatory lifestyle, beginning with food. That means cutting back on processed ingredients – especially sugar & refined flour – and focusing on whole, nourishing choices like lean proteins, lots of vegetables, anti-inflammatory spices, and healthy fats.
For acute aches, topical anti-inflammatories like over-the-counter diclofenac gel are often a gentler option.
But even better is getting curious: Why is my body in pain to begin with?
Most of the time, it’s not because you’re “just getting older.” It’s because your body is holding tension - and you’ve gotten used to being disconnected from it.
3. Your breathing pattern reveals your stress state
Most people breathe as if they’re being chased - even when sitting still while answering emails or sitting in traffic. That shallow, chest-based breath is a sign your body is running on stress autopilot. And while a lot of people think they’re doing diaphragmatic breathing, chances are they’re only doing it when prompted – like in a yoga class, or when someone’s guiding them.
But the real magic happens when your breath shifts during the unconscious moments – like when your coworker hijacks a Zoom call, or your kid spills something right before a meeting.
That’s when it counts.
Start paying attention:
Are you holding your breath?
Breathing into your chest instead of your belly?
Sighing all the time?
These are signals that your body doesn’t feel safe. You can change that.
Start simple: try exhaling twice as long than your inhale, softening your jaw, and breathing through your nose to activate a calmer state. These cues are like love notes to your nervous system – and they work. Especially when paired with what I teach in Stress Detox: Pelvic Core Magic – because your pelvic floor and breath are best friends when it comes to regulating stress at the root.
Your breath isn’t just a technique, nor is it something to simply ignore.
It’s a tool for coming back to yourself, again and again.
Even when life gets crunchy.
4. You don’t know what calm feels like - until you feel it!
One of the most overlooked truths in modern medicine is this: Most people live in a state of low-grade survival and don’t even realize it.
What you think is “normal” (clenched glutes, tight jaw, tense shoulders, racing thoughts) may actually be your body’s version of coping.
“When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there's a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body. After that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.”
– Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD Neuroanatomist
The good news?
Once you experience true calm and deep rest, your body remembers -- and can return to it more easily, opening up a new pathway in your nervous system that you can access anywhere. When you know what your body feels like with emotions that cause stress… then you can use simple somatic tools to shift into a place where you have the power to shift what happens to next.
5. Alcohol hijacks your body’s intelligence
Yes, even the organic, biodynamic wine.
Alcohol may help you “unwind” in the moment, but it actually disconnects you from your body’s signals, reducing your ability to self-regulate. It affects sleep quality, emotional resilience, and hormone balance - just the things that start to go awry when we hit that tender time of perimenopause.
Did you know that over time, regular alcohol consumption can damage or kill nerve cells and their delicate endings, particularly in the peripheral nervous system (the nerves that sense touch, temperature, and body position)?
This can lead to an often under-publicized condition called peripheral neuropathy – experienced as numbness, tingling, or even burning sensations in the hands and feet.
Your ability to feel becomes blunted – both emotionally and physically. You might look “fine” on the outside, but internally, you’re less connected to your body, your emotions, your intuition, and your truth.
That’s why many high-achieving women who use alcohol to “unwind” actually feel more disconnected over time.
This doesn’t mean you have to be sober to be healthy.
It means that if you’re using alcohol to escape tension, it’s worth asking: What would it look like to meet that tension instead of avoiding it?
Conversely, if you’re also using alcohol to celebrate, it’s worth asking: What would it look like to fully be present in the joy of life? Giving yourself the gift of learning how to somatically process both joy and stress in life could change everything for you!
6. You have a unique “Stress Map” in your body
Wearing your shoulders like a pair of your favorite earrings?
That’s not a style statement – it’s your nervous system begging you to listen.
Everyone stores stress differently. Some feel it in their jaw, others in their belly or pelvic floor. You might get migraines that appear mid-week that miraculously disappear on the weekends or on vacation. Low back tension, restless legs, a new diagnosis of high blood pressure, or a racing heart could also be the way you express your stress.
Once you start mapping your body’s personal stress responses, you build a roadmap to regulate yourself. This is the heart of somatic self-leadership and one of the missing links in most traditional healthcare models.
7. Emotions are sensations - not just stories
Feeling your feelings isn’t a cliché – it’s essential for healing.
But here’s the key: you have to stay connected to your body while doing it, not just process emotions in your mind.
High-achieving women are often pros at living from the neck up. Maybe you go for a quick run between meetings to clear your head and it helps, for a moment. But what happens when the stress creeps right back in the second you sit down again? That burst of relief doesn’t touch the root. It bypasses your body’s deeper signals.
True regulation happens when you can feel a wave of emotion, stay present with it, and allow your body to complete the cycle – without numbing, fixing, or fleeing. That’s the difference between a quick fix and real nervous system healing.
A tight chest? That might be sadness.
Butterflies in your belly? Maybe it’s excitement – or fear.
When you stop overthinking and start staying with the sensation, emotions begin to move. And when emotions move, stress patterns finally start to unravel.
8. Movement can be medicine – if it’s playful & attuned
Most people don’t know what a pain-free body actually feels like.
That’s a problem – and an opportunity. Forget punishing workouts. Your nervous system craves gentle, expressive movement that reminds your body it's safe to feel. That might look like dancing for one song, shaking your limbs for 30 seconds, or simply rolling on the floor and breathing.
This kind of movement doesn’t just improve your mood – it helps discharge trapped stress from your tissues.
It’s not “woo.”
It’s biology.
The Takeaway:
You’re not broken – your nervous system is just overloaded
We live in a culture that celebrates productivity and downplays embodiment.
But the real flex is learning how to live from a regulated, resourced, and relaxed state.
That’s the foundation for true vitality, creative leadership, and deep connection – with yourself and others.
If you’re tired of coping and ready to truly heal, start by listening to your body.
Not in judgment – but in curiosity.
Because the truth is: your body isn’t the problem.
It’s the portal.
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About the Author
Dr. Lynette Santos Malik, MD is a holistic physiatrist and founder of the Golden Love Collective. Her specialty is where somatics, nervous system science, and deep self-leadership converge. Her signature program, Golden Habits™, helps high-achieving women release stress at the cellular level and embody a new way of leading – without falling into burnout or bypassing.
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