4 Limiting Beliefs About Self Care That Are Holding You Back
You have a fancy planner, a Sunday night face mask routine, a solid morning routine, and maybe even a regular appointment for your nails. You seem to have everything under control from the outside. Doing great at work, being there for your people, and taking care of yourself.
So why do you still feel like you’re running on empty?
Why does just one (or two… or three) glasses of wine feel like the only thing keeping you from going completely crazy by 7 PM?
From working with hundreds of successful women, I’ve learnt this: We’ve been told a very limited story about what self care really means. And it’s keeping us caught in a loop of quick fixes when our nervous system is begging for something deeper.
Let me guess: You’re really good at looking after other people. You can handle a job crisis with your eyes closed. But do you really feel safe in your own body?
I see you. And I’m here to tell you what beliefs have kept you from the lasting relief you deserve.
Limiting Belief #1: “Self Care Is Just Pampering”
I’m not here to make fun of your meditation app or your collection of sheet masks. But if you think that checking these boxes means you’re taking care of yourself, we need to talk.
Your body is caught in a stress response when your nervous system isn’t working right (which is probably the case if you’re a high-achieving woman in 2025). That tightness in your shoulders? The ideas that race through your mind at 2 AM? How you get angry at your partner for something small?
These are all signs that your current self care routine isn’t working.
Real self care means working with your body’s inherent way of dealing with stress. This is where somatic exercises come in. Methods that help you get out of fight-or-flight mode and into a state where your body can really rest, digest, and heal.
You can have all the massages you want, but if you don’t deal with what’s going on in your body at the root, you’re only treating the symptoms.
Limiting Belief #2: “I Don’t Have Time for Self Care”
This is a big one. We have so many plates to spin already, and self care can feel like just another item in an already overwhelming daily routine.
But is it really true? We don’t have time to take care of ourselves, but we do have time to surf Instagram for 30 minutes before bed. To stay awake and think about that email we should have written differently. To have the same fight with our partner for the third time this week.
When we say “I don’t have time,” we often mean “I don’t think this is important enough” or “I don’t know what will work, so why bother?”
But let’s do some math.
It only takes 60 seconds to do a somatic exercise that helps your nervous system regulate itself. We’re talking about fast, useful tools you can do while sitting at your desk, waiting in line at the coffee shop, or even in the restroom at work.
Everything takes longer when you don’t take the time to calm down your nervous system. You’re less focused, less productive, and more reactive. You waste time worrying about things you don’t need to, or putting out fires caused by stress.
Preventive treatment is the least expensive type of medical care, and regulating the nervous system is literally the basis of prevention. When your body is always in survival mode, it can’t heal.
Limiting Belief #3: “Self Care Should Feel Indulgent or Luxurious”
Many people think self care should be a weekend at the spa, a $200 massage, or a home that looks like a beautifully curated Instagram feed.
But what if I told you that some of the best ways to take care of yourself don’t have to be anything special? Real self care is actually closer to slow living than a luxury spa day.
This is what real nervous system regulation looks like:
Standing barefoot on your kitchen floor for two minutes and feeling your feet touch the ground
Putting your hand on your heart and taking three calm breaths before you go to that meeting
Doing nothing at all while laying down (yes, this qualifies as doing something)
Sometimes it’s not glamorous. Not necessarily good for content. But it does work.
Your nervous system doesn’t care about how things look. It doesn’t need pricey essential oils or the right meditation cushion. What it needs is steady, body-based feedback that says it’s safe.
You don’t have to wait for the perfect time or place to go on a retreat. You can start exactly where you are.
Limiting Belief #4: “I Must Be Doing It Wrong If I’m Still Stressed”
This mindset is tricky because it seems like being responsible, but it’s really just perfectionism in a self-help hat.
You have tried to meditate. You have read the books. You might have even seen a therapist before. And you still want that wine at the end of the day. You still feel tight in your chest and wake up fatigued.
So you think you’re not taking care of yourself, right?
Not necessarily.
You’re treating the symptoms instead of the cause. But the root? That’s your nervous system.
The most common self care advice misses the fact that your body may be caught in a stress response that no amount of positive thinking or bubble baths can heal. It’s not a matter of willpower. When your nervous system isn’t working correctly, it’s a physical problem that needs physical solutions.
That’s why somatic work is so powerful. You don’t have to do more, strive harder, or be better. It’s about working with your body’s own wisdom and resources.
Healing doesn’t happen in a straight line.
There will be days when you feel great. And some days when you’ll want to throw your laptop out of the window. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re a human being, you’re in your healing era, and you’re doing the work.
The Truth About Self Care That Changes Everything
Taking care of yourself isn’t about adding more to your already full schedule. It’s about changing how you think about stress, your body, and how to create a dream life that genuinely nourishes and supports you.
You deserve more than quick fixes. You deserve to feel calm, connected to your higher self, and to sleep long and deeply each night - to live your life without always feeling like you’re on the verge of falling apart.
The women I work with don’t want to add anything extra to their to-do lists. They just want to find a method to finally feel safe in their own skin.
And it all starts by examining these false ideas about what self care looks like.
Go to your nail appointments if they make you happy. But also, learn to give your body what it needs, and invest in preventative self care through nervous system regulation.
Your body has been waiting for you to come home.
If you’re done with face masks and quick fixes and ready for the kind of self care that actually works, I’d love to support you. Golden Love Collective offers somatic healing for women who are ready to feel safe in their own skin - for real this time.
Warmly,
Dr. Lynette 💜
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About the Author
Dr. Lynette Santos Malik, MD is a holistic physiatrist, somatic stress coach for professional women, and founder of the Golden Love Collective. She specializes in nervous system regulation for high-achieving women, subconscious healing, and helping clients reconnect with their bodies without sacrificing their careers or ambition. Through her signature program, Golden Habits™, she blends evidence-based somatic practices, hypnosis, and integration experiences to help women release chronic stress, prevent burnout, lead with presence, and build true nervous system capacity from the inside out.
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