3 Easy Everyday Habits to Help You Regulate Your Nervous System
You know how it feels when you're at your desk getting a lot done, but your shoulders are up near your ears? Or when you finally come home after a long day and the only thing that seems like it might help you relax is a glass of wine.
Yes. Your nervous system is asking for your help.
A lot of us high-achieving women have nervous systems that are basically screaming for help, but we've grown so good at ignoring the signs that we don't even know what's going on anymore. We just know that we feel... tense. Worried. It feels like we're always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The good news is that you don't have to add another complicated daily routine to your already busy schedule.
These three habits only take a few minutes, don't cost anything, and operate with your body's natural stress-relief system.
Habit 1: The 90-Second Body Scan (But With Some Spice)
I'm going to be honest with you: when most people hear "body scan," they don't pay attention. Sounds monotonous and like it will take a lot of time, and like you should do it while sitting cross-legged on a meditation cushion.
But listen to me.
This one only takes 90 seconds. You can do it at your desk, in your car, or even at work in the bathroom (no judgment). Instead of the usual "pay attention to your toes and ankles" meditation talk, we're going to make this actually helpful.
Set a timer for 90 seconds. If you can, close your eyes or just soften your gaze.
Scan your body from the top of your head to the bottom, but just check for one thing: where are you holding tension?
Your jaw (you might not even know you're clenching it)
Your shoulders and that forgotten region between your shoulder blades
Your solar plexus or stomach
Even your hands, if you're holding something too tightly
Don't try to relax while you feel tense. Just pay attention to it. You might even want to say hi to it. "Oh, there you are, stiff shoulders. Doing your thing again."
When you pay attention to how your body feels, you are literally turning on your prefrontal cortex (the reasoning brain) and calming down your amygdala (the panic button). You're also using something called interoception, which is your ability to feel what's going on inside your body.
Because we've spent years ignoring what our bodies are telling us, most of us have poor interoception.
This 90-second check-in starts to retrain that muscle.
Do this three times a day. Make it part of your morning routine, check in again at midday, and weave it into your night routine before bed. Or if you catch yourself idly scrolling through your phone (which, let's be honest, is usually your nervous system trying to calm down by distracting itself).
Habit 2: Shake It Off - No, Really
This one seems like it would be too easy. Possibly even ridiculous.
This might be one of the most underrated glow up tips you've never heard of. Stay with me, because this is where things get a little woo and also totally backed by neuroscience.
Animals do this instinctively. Watch a deer after it narrowly escapes a predator -- it literally shakes to release all that built-up stress. Humans? We don't do this step at all. We just keep all that energy going, and then we wonder why we feel so stressed all the time.
So, for just 2-3 minutes every day, shake your body. If that helps, play a song (a song with a nice beat works well). Begin with your hands, then continue on to your arms, and finally let it move through your complete body. Bounce. Wiggle. It looks silly, and that's okay.
You're literally moving energy that is locked in your body. The stress hormones, including cortisol and adrenaline, that have been in your tissues? Shaking them up helps your body break them down. It finishes the stress cycle that began when you got that passive-aggressive email from a coworker or sat through a very stressful meeting.
Morning is the best time for this because it keeps stress from building up over the day. But it works whenever you can fit it in.
What works for different people:
Some of my clients swear by doing this to upbeat music
Others like complete silence so they can focus on the feeling
A few have told me they do it in their car in the parking garage before going to work
One woman does it in her shower (bonus points for efficiency)
Movement is medicine. It's one of the simplest expressions of slow living there is. Always has been.
Habit 3: The Ice-Cold Splash (Trust the Process)
Okay, this one takes a little more courage, but the reward is wonderful.
This is real self care - not the Instagram version.
When you're done with your shower, change the water to cold for 30 seconds. Only 30 seconds. If you can't bear the cold all over your body, point it at the back of your neck and upper back.
If you don't like showers, you can also sprinkle cold water on your face for 30 seconds, or fill your sink with cold water and lower your face in it.
Yes, it is uncomfortable. That's kind of the point.
Cold water wakes up your vagus nerve, which is a long nerve that travels from your brain down to your chest and abdomen. Like the primary road for your parasympathetic nervous system, which is in charge of your rest-and-digest mode. Cold water on the vagus nerve basically resets your stress response.
Your heart rate goes down. You take deeper breaths. Your body goes from fight-or-flight mode to a calmer state.
You're teaching your nervous system how to deal with discomfort in a calm, controlled way. Like a touchstone for staying grounded when real-life stressful things happen.
The first week is hard. Your body will complain. But things change by the second week. A lot of women tell me they want it because they know it will make them feel better right away.
When I splash my face with cold water in the morning, I sometimes add a few drops of peppermint essential oil. From a nervous system point of view, it's not necessary, but it makes the whole affair feel more like a ritual than a task.
The Secret Your Body Has Been Waiting For
Your nervous system isn't the problem. It's doing what it's meant to do: reacting to the continual, low-level stress of modern life.
The issue is that no one taught us how to help it regulate before we hit full burnout. We were told to keep going no matter what, to disregard the signs, and to push through. And then we wonder why we need wine every night to feel like we can finally breathe.
The body scan, the shaking, and the cold water are about ultimately giving your nervous system what it needs: acknowledgment, movement, and a chance to reset.
You don't have to execute all three perfectly every day. Begin with one. See what happens. Pay attention to how your body reacts.
The best way to take care of yourself isn't a luxurious retreat or expensive supplements. It's the little things you do every day to make your body feel safe. Real personal development starts here, in the body, not on a vision board.
Your nervous system is ready. Your healing era starts now.
Want to go deeper than daily habits?
These three habits are a powerful start. But if you're ready to do the deeper work of actually rewiring your stress response from the inside out, that's exactly what we do at Golden Love Collective. Somatic healing for women who are done white-knuckling their way through life and ready to finally feel at home in their bodies. Ready to get started? Find out more here.
Warmly,
Dr. Lynette 💜
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About the Author
Dr. Lynette Santos Malik, MD is a holistic physiatrist, somatic stress coach for professional women, and founder of the Golden Love Collective. She specializes in nervous system regulation for high-achieving women, subconscious healing, and helping clients reconnect with their bodies without sacrificing their careers or ambition. Through her signature program, Golden Habits™, she blends evidence-based somatic practices, hypnosis, and integration experiences to help women release chronic stress, prevent burnout, lead with presence, and build true nervous system capacity from the inside out.
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